Thank You

he sky of the Universal Library was vast and grey as always — an endless void with few points of interest woven through. Such was the nature of the metaphoric space whose purpose was to serve as the background for communication between living souls. Without any living things to inhabit it it was barren — but the closer that souls were, the more the space itself transformed to suit them.

This sector of the Library was still pretty barren: a grey expanse with square, skyscraper-sized concrete blocks sticking out of the void below, their bases invisible through the haze. Paths made of solid concrete were floating in the air, together with vacuum tubes, interspersed with the omnipresent bulky bookshelves, slowly drifting through space, each filled with the most random assortment of titles imaginable. This place was transitional, and barely anyone ever went through there. That day there was two souls crossing through.

They both were human-shaped animals, as most souls they knew looked. In the front there was a brown dog with long ears, small and chubby, dressed in a loose-fitting jumper and a long skirt. She was quietly explaining something, her posture timid, but her wagging tail betraying her excitement. The other soul was thin and very tall, even though he was hunched over. He wore a gray hoodie, the hood pulled up over his head; the dark mask markings on his face and the long, fluffy striped tail made it clear that he was a raccoon. He was listening to the dog with caution, but it did not look like he had much faith in her words.

“We’re almost here.” Typing a few words on her dark silver flip phone, the dog girl closed it with a click and pointed up at the sky. The raccoon squinted and could almost make out that it got a little brighter. “You’ll see it yourself soon, let’s hurry!”

“I don’t know...”, the raccoon mumbled, nevertheless increasing his pace: it was easier for him with his long legs.

“Well, soon you’ll know!”, the dog smiled at him. “I’m telling you, everything you heard about ‘Among the Stars’ is true! Queer souls are welcome there, the café is built specifically for them! Nobody judges anyone for who they are.”

“Thank you, sorry!” Embarrassed, the raccoon put his paws up to his face. “I’m just... am not from a place like this, I’m sure you understand. I’ve never seen something like this.”

“And that’s why I’m glad I’ll get to introduce you, Morgan.” The dog gave him a single pat on the shoulder and stopped, feeling him twitch almost imperceptibly. “You’ll open up in no time, they accept and respect everyone there!” Remembering something, the dog sighed.

“What was that about?” Morgan tilted his head, but then his eyes went wide at what he saw behind his guide’s back. On one of the wide concrete blocks, there was a brick structure, almost like a building, but also looking like a stage decoration. It was a café, and a busy one, built of brick and wood, with metal pipes all throughout the structure, with a cozy second floor and a wide terrace around it, with multiple paths leading to the block. The sky above the building was not grey, but deep blue, with myriads of stars shining above. A giant cannon was protruding out of the back of the structure, gazing into the sky like a factory pipe. The café was full of creatures of all colors of the rainbow — and the rainbow was what was on the flags that were proudly flying around the building. Morgan gasped and stopped, his eyes taking in the sight. Seeing his reaction, the dog grinned to herself.

“Hi, and welcome!”

Suddenly there was terrifying noise above them. Morgan jumped, alert and ready to fight or flee, and just stood there stupefied by the animal descending from the sky in front of them. It was a pale yellow vixen, dressed in what looked like a blue maid outfit — only the skirt was made out of solid metal and had four evenly spaced rocket thrusters around the rim. Making a graceful twirl in the air, the vixen landed softly in front of the two animals, them feeling the hot air.

“Thanks for the message, Stephie, it’s always an honor to get to welcome someone new personally. Hi! I’m Astro the Rainbowfox, the founder of ‘Among the Stars’!” The rocket maid bowed at Morgan, who bowed back, still scared. He noticed the vixen’s long tail, the fur colored like a rainbow, something inside glittering like stars.

“Come on, let’s hurry. What would you like to tell about yourself, Morgan? Long journey here?”

The raccoon shot a glance at the dog who disclosed his name to a stranger, but she just seemed happy with how things were turning out.

“I’m... not from a place like this, let’s just say. I don’t really know how to behave either, so please forgive me if I do or say anything wrong.”

“No worries at all! Everyone understands, we all have been there,” Astro snickered. “How do you like the look?”

Glancing at the café again, swiftly getting closer, Morgan didn’t find anything to say. Astro nodded in understanding.

“The creation of my own will — but it would have been nothing without the souls who actually go to the café. We all shape ‘Among the Stars’ with our contributions! We have game nights, movie screenings, a stand-up club, a feminist discussion club... The community is wonderful! You’ll fit right in.”

They continued the walk to the café, now Astro doing all the talking, Stephie content to just listen. Astro was skipping around in excitement, her joy making her so light it took her several seconds to land. As Morgan was listening, he was sulking more and more, eyes fixed on his own tattered sneakers. In just a few minutes they were at the platform. The entrance was right in front of them: just a metal arch where there would be a wall and the front door, separated from the space around it only by a row of pots with small bushes.

“Well, let’s go!” Astro turned around to pat the tall raccoon on the back, but stopped midway. “Is it okay if I touch you, Morgan? Want a hug, by the way?”

The tall guy suddenly sniffled, bringing his thin arms around his sides.

“I’m... thank you, not now... It’s just... nobody has asked before, you understand? It’s been a long day, and this...” He stared at the rainbow flag fluttering in the air above them. “I don’t know what to think of this! I don’t even know if any of this is real...”

“None of this is real, we live in a metaphor,” Stephie remarked, then gasped and covered her mouth, seeing Astro’s glare.

“I know what you’re feeling. Want to sit at the terrace with Stephie for a while? I can bring you some green tea, it calms the nerves...”

“You’re... so kind...” Morgan was breathing heavily, his knees shaking. “After all the bad things in my life, this... this...”

Black smoke was brewing up at the raccoon’s legs. Her eyes wide, Astro grabbed Stephie by the shoulder and shoved the small dog behind her back.

“This is just too much!!!”

As Morgan fell to his knees while shouting, the smoke rose up, enveloping his body. Horrified, Astro and Stephie watched a giant spindly, disfigured silhouette unfurl within the cloud. It rose above, leaving Morgan’s unconscious body on the concrete. With a terrifying screech, the smoke dissipated, revealing an ugly creature floating in the air, looking half like an animal, half like a machine. It resembled a crab with a dozen long legs, each with a razor sharp pincer. Immediately the creature reached back for the animal that spawned it.

“Bring him inside,” Astro muttered to Stephie, making her snap from her stupor. The café staff were running towards them, colorful animals in maid uniforms. “Ready the cannon! We have a Deconstructor at the door.”

“No need for that! I’ll handle it.”

Stephie’s excited gasp went unnoticed, as Astro and the staff stared in confusion at the goat girl running out of the front gate. She was shorter than Stephie, with pale pink hair and two long, sturdy horns, dressed in an old-fashioned school uniform with an apron. Never slowing down, the glat pulled out a small vial filled with bright green liquid, opened it — and a sparkling cloud of green smoke surrounded her. When she leapt out of it, a single jump bringing her ten meters into the air, she was dressed completely differently: a short green dress and a hood over her head. The ribbons tied around her strong legs left no doubt that something magical was going on.

“Go get it!”, Stephie shouted happily, paying no attention to the giant claw reaching out for Morgan, who she was struggling to pick up. Just a moment later the goat girl began her descent from the jump: a huge scalpel appeared in her hands, sharp as death itself and with a floral ornament. The crab creature let out a terrifying hum as she sliced the arm clean off.

“You picked the wrong time to appear, Deconstructor!”, the goat announced, pointing her weapon at the monster. “Prepare to be cured by the best protector this Library has seen! The cure...”

She jumped again, the force of the jump making Stephie’s fur rustle.

“Annihilation!”

The crab did not even have a chance to react as she pierced its shell right where the head would be. Stephie cheered again, as Morgan was carried inside by two of the staff and another one grabbed her hand to lead her in. Her cheers stopped when the goat found out that the scalpel got stuck in the shell.

“Tch!” Seeing three claws reach for her at once, the girl jumped away, punching one of the arms so hard that it got dislocated, hanging limply below the creature. She landed on a floating bookshelf, almost losing her balance and making several tomes slip down into the void. The crab suddenly lunged at her, launching jets of fire from its back. Gasping, the goat put her hands up, creating a glass-like magical shield. Three of the creature’s claws bumped against it, but the fourth pierced right through, shattering the glass and hitting the girl right in the stomach. Coughing, she fell right into the other claw, painfully squeezing her. Holding its attacker, the crab turned towards the café again. All the visitors were bunched up at the entrance. None of them knew this girl, but they all were feeling safe for some reason — well, until that point. Wincing, Stephie glanced back at Morgan, who the maids put on a couch neat the entrance. The tall boy was panting, like he was having a terrible dream.

“This looks bad,” Astro declared, sitting at the cockpit in a private room at the top of the café. “Time to stop playing.” She pressed the trigger, and the tube crowning the brick structure turned towards the Deconstructor, revealing itself to be a giant cannon. Charging for a second, the weapon fired a blinding energy beam... that was completely deflected by a magical shield.

“What?” Astro stared through the crosshairs: the shield looked the same as the one the nameless goat girl had just made. Indeed she was smiling, right at her sights, oddly knowing where to look.

“Thank you, of course,” she muttered, too quietly to be heard by anyone, “but I’m sick and tired of you trying to help me and then taking all the credit. This one is mine alone!”

With a bleat so loud that it echoed through the space, the girl unleashed an energy blast, vaporizing the claw that was holding her. She landed on a huge floating film reel right underneath the crab’s soft belly — and, leaping up again, punched right through the creature, launching blood and electric sparks everywhere. Her scalpel got launched through the air too; the goat shot a ribbon after it like a lasso and, never losing momentum, jumped back down into the hole she’d made. With her scalpel she hacked through the soft insides of the monster, slashing it into pieces. The pieces of the dissected body hung limply in the air as the girl emerged from its center, holding a tiny black crystal in her hand.

Gasps and applause rolled over the crowd. Astro let go of the cannon’s controls, still squinting through the crosshairs. The goat jumped down to the platform, walking unsteadily towards the café and whispering something to the crystal. Healing magic was spreading through her words like fumes, smelling like mint and chamomile. Stephie ran out to give her a shoulder to lean on, and a few other patrons reluctantly followed. Astro frowned. Who the hell was this?!

Back at the café, bloody and sweaty, the goat sat beside Morgan, at the chair moved by Stephie. She pulled up his hoodie, exposing his torso, nightmarishly thin. There was a keyhole right in the middle of his chest; whispering some final words to the crystal that had turned pink, she slid it into the keyhole. Gasping loudly, Morgan suddenly jolted awake.

“I feel like I had a nightmare,” he whispered, and then his eyes focused on the rainbow flag outside again. “Am I still dreaming?.. Wait, why are you undressing me?!”

“Thank you,” Astro announced in her best voice, making everyone spread to give her way, “for protecting Morgan and our café! Who are you, hero?”

The girl just sighed, Stephie beside her covering her face with her palms.

“So even after so many times you still can’t remember...”

---

Not even ten minutes passed, and the café had already gone back to normal, like there wasn’t just a horrifying monster at the door. Morgan and Stephie were sitting at the table in the middle of the room, sipping the green tea, taking in the chatter around them, but themselves silent. Finally the raccoon gathered the courage to ask.

“Hey, so... could you please explain what happened to me?”

Stephie winced, not even knowing where to begin. The appearance of her mysterious friend saved her: the goat girl sat down at their table, in school uniform again, looking tired but overall not at all like someone who just got stabbed in the stomach.

“I can do it if you want,” she smiled at Morgan. “I’m Vsemila, Mila for short.”

Nodding and nervously gulping, the raccoon shook her hand.

“So, you know what Constructs are, right? Entities that living souls can create, to serve any purpose. They can come in any shape, like this café, for example.” Mila spread her arms around. Morgan was squinting at her, focused just as much on what she was saying as on something that bothered him about that girl.

“Constructs are made with intent, and they usually serve the will of their creator. That thing was a little different... Sometimes, when it’s in great distress, a soul can eject a part of itself away, to ease the pain.” Mila put her arms on the table, propping up her chin. “That creates a Deconstructor, an uncontrollable entity that’s usually pretty destructive. And ugly, too...” Stephie snickered, and Mila smiled. “But there are ways to pacify them and revert them to their initial, pure state. I’m an expert at doing that!”

Morgan put a hand up to his chest, remembering the girl’s fight with his creation in vivid detail.

“Thank you... So, that remnant, that core that you put inside me...”

“Part of you all along,” Mila nodded. “The Deconstructor was born out of the feelings you couldn’t bear, and after all this rampaging I made them more manageable, so hopefully you’ll be able to handle them yourself now. You’re welcome!”

“I’m... really grateful.” The raccoon bowed a little. “Can I just say... I think your horns are cool?”

“Oh, really?” Blushing, Mila reached up to touch her horns. “Thank you! I use them when fighting, so they’re not the best looking, but...”

“No, no, that’s what makes them look cool! I just have one question...”

Seeing Stephie smile at their interaction, the goat grinned back at her. Seeing her smile turn into a scowl, the dog turned and saw Astro the Rainbowfox approaching, armed with a giant chocolate cake.

“Sooo, thank you, our hero!”, the vixen sang, setting the cake on the table. “Didn’t know you had it in you, Stephie! It was so brave.”

Morgan shot a puzzled look at both girls, who were liking like they were done with Astro — for a while, actually.

“Hello?” Mila raised her hand. “I exist?”

“You...” Startled, Astro stared at the goat like she just noticed her. For a moment her stare went blank. “Of course, it was you out there, how silly of me... What’s your name, if I may ask?”

“Mila,” the goat said with a loud sigh. “You’ve known me for a year.” Catching Morgan’s puzzled stare, she sat up straight. “Okay, let’s hear my story once again. First of all, I’m a Construct, a fictional character brought into this world by my creators.”

“Fictional...” Morgan tilted his head. “Is this why I’m having a hard time looking at you? Like, you look like you’re fading out sometimes?”

“Not at all,” Mila shook her head, somewhat agitated. “My story is unfinished, you see, there’s a lot of missing parts. I’m not a complete character, so I’m... not fully real, so to speak. I was brought to this Library with a purpose, but that’s a thing of the past now, so now I’m... just there. Well, I protect the Library, and I do it pretty well, I must say!” Mila stared as Astro, who gulped nervously. “The cake is the one I like, by the way. Over this year you at least learned that, congratulations!”

“You deserve it, and more!” Stephie butted in. “Mila has protected us from so much, she deserves to be worshipped as a hero, not simply remembered! Please promise you’ll try to remember her...” She grabbed Morgan’s shoulder.

“I’ll... try to,” he nodded.

“Alright,” Astro stood straight, shaking off her sudden stupor. “I promised you a tour of the café, right, Morgan? Why don’t we begin?”

---

An hour later, it was time for Stephie to go home. Together with Mila they were walking along an endless plane, evenly gridded, like an infinite go board, chatting about music. Stephie was Mila’s only friend, in no small part by virtue of being the only soul who could consistently remember her and who even thought of her while she was away. It bothered Mila a little that she seemed to be Stephie’s only friend too: it was her sincere belief that she deserved more. Which was why she was trying her best to be a great friend for her, to show her all that she was worth.

“I wonder how Jade and Aimée are doing.”

This remark caught Mila off-guard, and she stared at Stephie. Jade and Aimée were her two creators, the authors of the story where Mila was the main character. They were also not exactly the souls who she liked to think about.

“Well, you know Aimée better than me at this point,” she replied almost bitterly. “Didn’t you see her last week?”

“Just briefly!” Nervously laughing, Stephie put her paws in the air, feeling clearly that she’d struck a nerve. Inhaling deeply, she decided to press on anyway. “And Jade?..”

Mila gave her a tired look. “Busy, as usual. Schoolwork, creative work, you know.”

“I know schoolwork,” Stephie nodded. “I’m kind of interested in what they have been creating recently!”

“You don’t even know them,” Mila sighed.

“I know you!” The dog patted the goat on the back. “And you’re so cool and amazing... surely the soul who created you would be just as cool.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised,” Mila mumbled. “Why now of all times?..”

After walking a few more steps, she abruptly stopped and shot another glance at Stephie. “Hey, I know what’s going on. You want to beg them to finish my story for me, don’t you?”

“I...” Stephie looked at her shoes.

“Listen, that’s not gonna happen,” Mila sighed. “Haven’t I explained it to you? These two broke up, the story is shelved forever, and neither of them wants to touch it anymore. In a perfect world they wouldn’t even have brought me into the Library, they both regret doing it!”

“Really?..” Stephie was looking at her with glistening eyes. Mila patted her on the shoulder.

“Really. So please, don’t bother them.”

“It just makes me... so frustrated,” Stephie shook her head as she started walking again. The scenery changed without them noticing: now they were flanked by endless rows of cottages on both sides, all of them perfectly identical. “You’re here, and you’re so cool and strong and so great, and nobody can even remember that you exist! I don’t want to just accept it...”

“Well, that’s life,” Mila sighed. “I guess we both have to deal with it, eh? At least I have you. You’re special, and I’m glad I found you.”

“Special?..”

“Well, you’re just about the only one who remembers me!” Mila took the dog by the shoulder. “I wouldn’t know what I would do if it weren’t for you.”

“Actually, I’m noticing that other souls are also getting better at perceiving you,” Stephie said. “You noticed what cake Astro brought, didn’t you? And when I was talking about you at school this week, some people actually remembered your name.”

Mila furrowed her eyebrows. “Probably just coincidence, if I’m being honest. You can’t save me, Stephie, nobody can. But well, at least I can protect all of you!”

“Thank you,” the dog gave her a strained smile, stopping. Mila was relieved to find that they were at the door of her house: this talk was a complete disaster.

“Well, give that homework a good fight for me.” They hugged, the dog’s arms phasing slightly through the goat. “See you tomorrow?”

“As soon as I’m done with school!”

After a fist bump, Mila jumped up, leaping dozens of meters above the endless grid of cottages. Jumping so high was a feat for her, especially with her breath so strained from holding back tears. Truly she did not deserve a friend that great.

---

In a different corner of the Library, among endless rows of tall, thin bookshelves, is where Mila made her base. It was not a hospitable place: the sky was dark and sad, and the shelves, so impossibly tall that their bottoms were lost somewhere deep below, had no means to climb around them. Barely anyone ever crossed this space. A watchtower was sticking out between two bookshelves, a makeshift construction with telescopes on four sides. Mila said she preferred this location for high visibility, but probably it was that it was so secluded.

Below the watchtower, between two shelves, was where she lived: a semblance of a teenage girl’s bedroom, with all the usual furniture and scattered clothing and toys, but with no walls on either side. Nobody in their right mind would call it a home, at best they would use a word like “outpost”. The shelves making up for two of the walls were plastered with sketches and printouts: everything that Jade and Aimée had on “Nights At School”, the story where Mila came from. It was a strange sight, a cross between a normal bedroom and a crank’s investigation chamber over a surrealist space of two shelves packed with random books. Mila herself finished the art piece, laying on the bed face down. Her wound already stopped bleeding, thanks to magic — but it still hurt like hell.

Mila’s face was firmly pressed into the pillow, but the drawings around her were clear as day in her mind, looking at her judgmentally. Sure, the comic was unfinished, but did she really know that little about herself? It was a rather heavy story about kids and ghosts and facing the ugly side of history... and Mila was the protagonist, a brash, brave girl who boldly showed the other characters the way forward. Other characters were depicted on most of the drawings and not her... Though most of the story was hazy in her mind, Mila still had memories of it, it was like a past to the instance of her who was now running around the Library. She knew the Mila in the comic well enough, and she tried her best to continue being herself in this new state of being. Protective, cheerful, a good leader... It was so hard, though.

Turning her head around, Mila came face to face with a plush bunny, Stephie’s gift. Growling at the though of the dog, she grabbed the toy and threw it away. How dare she care about her so much! She can’t help, so why doesn’t she just buzz off... Seeing the bunny slide a little too close to the edge of the platform, Mila gasped — but the universe was merciful that day, and it stopped, with only an ear dangling over the void. The goat groaned, flailing on the bed.

“Stupid...” She curled into a ball, hugging her knees. “I’m so dumb! She cares about me so much, and all I do in turn is reject her and hurt her. Why does she even bother with me? She’s shy, but she’s so smart, and cute, and kind, and even brave... What good I even am for her?! She would be better off without me, with anybody else as a friend... anybody who’s actually real and not... this...”

She laid down on her stomach, looking at her hand, slowly fading in and out, the images plastered over the books taunting her. Stephie did say that people were more likely to remember her... but surely that was just a mistake, just her seeing what she wanted to see. But even Astro brought out the type of cake that Mila liked... The goat suddenly didn’t understand anything.

“All of this is so difficult... and so confusing...” Grunting, she hugged her stomach — bandaged, but it suddenly felt like the wound could open again anytime. “Could she have been right? Am I just so dumb I haven’t been noticing that? Is there still hope for me?..”

She looked up, seeing the watchtower’s floor and the ladder leading up. Then shoved her face right back into the bedsheets.

“I’m just tired. I don’t care anymore. It’s been a whole year already, and I still... just exist like that...” She was suddenly shaking, her body going cold. “I just want to be complete... Is that really too much?”

The magical vial laying by the pillow was pulsating, lighting up in warning, but she didn’t care. “I’m sorry, Stephie, but I can’t take it! I just want it to end!!!”

Lightning struck all around her, and the source was Mila herself. As black smoke rose up, covering her station, she still caught a glimpse of the bunny slipping down from the platform. Strands of smoke were coalescing around her, looking like thin, skeletal fingers were rising up.

“What a joke I am,” Mila thought as she closed her eyes for the last time. “I can’t even make a complete Deconstructor.”