Satisfactory

Short story by EmeraldSwirl

hat February morning in Moscow was foggy and cold, but the sun was still gleaming through the thin veil covering up the sky, the light reflecting in the glistening crust covering half-melted snow. It was still a little cold, but winter was clearly not planning to stick much longer. The bus stop near one of Moscow’s myriad of metro stations was packed as always, waves of people pouring out and flowing into different vessels in an eerie polyrhythm.

Another minibus arrived, spitting out twice as many people as it had seats. One of them, a thin, short young lady, looking crumpled after a bumpy ride, was heading to the entrance to the metro along with everyone but suddenly stopped, mesmerized by what she saw at the stop. Frowning in concentration, a girl in a bright yellow coat, no older than five, was laser focused at five toy cars levitating above her outstretched hands. For her age it was an incredible feat: this girl was sure to go far. Her mother, a bulky woman in a neon pink coat, was holding her by the hood, talking on the phone so loudly that the entire bus stop could hear it. The young lady made a few steps in the direction of the metro, but couldn’t help but smile at this girl’s talent.

Another bus showed up around the corner, and the people bunched up closer to the edge. One old woman with a huge wheeled bag waddled right to the front, elbowing everybody in her way. The little girl glanced at her and gasped at the shaggy white cat peeking out of her dusty jacket. The cat was looking positively horrified at the shapes and sounds around it... and an unfamiliar child reaching out her hand made it scream in terror. Both of them flinched as the girl lost control of her toy cars, which all fell into the mud. The girl crouched to pick them up, the old lady mumbling a quiet tirade... and then a car horn pierced the air.

What transpired next was both painfully slow and yet happened all at once. With a guttural scream the cat burst from its owner’s jacket, jumping straight to the roadway. Gasping in horror, the little girl raised her hand, freezing the cat in the air... only something went wrong. The cat got launched high up, twirling and screaming, stopping a centimeter short of the trolleybus wires and crashing down like a comet. Yelling in panic, the girl jumped under the bus to catch it herself — but rebounded as her mother yanked her hood. Slipping in the snowy mud, the girl fell backwards, the mother also losing balance and falling onto the asphalt...

Somehow they didn’t hit it, phasing right through. The horrified onlookers were just staring as the bus lazily approached the stop and opened its doors. Another wave of passengers flowed out — pulling along the very same mother and daughter, a silent question in their stares. The raggedy cat was in the girl’s hood, too shocked to escape, just mewling in terror. The old woman grabbed it by the nape and jumped into the bus, furiously crossing herself.

“Teleportation”, the mother hiccuped. “Aigyz, was that you?”

The girl shook her head. The onlookers began scanning the crowd for the unlikely savior. All the gazes concentrated on a young lady in a light jacket, leaning forward with her fists clenched, her hair all electrified and messed up.

“You!”, the woman roared, and it was unclear if she was grateful or furious. Her phone rang inside her hat, and she pulled it out in one wild swing like a sword. “Hello, Nadira? Nadira, we just had or lives saved! Hang on just a second! Lady...”

The lady took a step back. That was a mistake: the mother began to approach her with all the confidence of a bus, still holding the phone up to her ear.

“Lady, we owe you out livers! Amazing how people can be so kind — not all is lost on the youth, eh, Nadira?”

“I don’t understand you well...”, the lanky girl whispered with a strong accent and flinched when her back touched someone.

“Tell us your name, you hero!”, the woman in pink pleaded, tearing up, as dozens of bystanders were staring at them.

“Hae... jung”, the girl admitted, her face red like she was caught stealing.

“Lady, we’ll be grateful ‘til the day we all die! Hey, Aigyz, say thank you to auntie!” The woman yanked her daughter’s coat hood, making a toy car fall out. The embarrassed lady stopped it mid-air with her gaze and made it levitate back to the girl’s hands. “Ah, how considerate!”, the mom sniffled. “Nadira, if only you saw what I am seeing right now, if only you had the privilege of looking in this wonderful young woman’s eyes!.. Oh, please take this!”

In another sweeping motion the mom grabbed the air beside her and pulled out a huge bouquet of begonias, shoving it into the young girl’s arms.

“Nadira, I’m so happy, I’m on cloud nine!” Tears were streaming from the stocky woman’s eyes while her daughter was longingly looking at the departing bus. “This... hero, she deserves a round of applause!”

Up until this point the young girl was just shaking and staring at the ground. But when some people actually started clapping, she swiftly turned on her heels and... it looked like she was about to dash off, but she just disappeared. The crowd looked around for the scared weirdo for about a second, then everybody shrugged and went back to their books and phones. The mother in the pink jacket was just standing there, mouth agape, the phone still up to her ear; then her daughter tugged on her sleeve. The next bus was coming up.

Poking her head over the underground passage railing meters away, the girl made sure that the mother and daughter were safe (and not looking for her). She was still red and breathing heavily, her heart racing after the sudden scare, the bouquet in her hands making her look like a runaway bridesmaid — but the moment she noticed a couple passersby glance at her, she was standing straight, tidying up her hair and putting on wireless earbuds. They were not connected to anything, but they helped prevent at least some people from asking her things.

Hwang Haejung was 23 years old, a first year graduate student in the somewhat acrane field of metaphysics (not to be confused with a philosophy branch). She was looking perfectly normal — short, with glasses and shoulder long hair, always dressed according to the latest fashion in such a way not to stand out. Her face was too thin, though, always looking gaunt despite her best effort. Combined with her stern facial expression, it gave Haejung an aura of unapproachability — thankfully, her efforts to blend in worked so that few even paid enough attention to her to notice that something was up with her. Judging by how nervously she was fidgeting with something in her pockets, she had a lot going on.

Haejung stepped onto the escalator down to the metro. The billboards on the sides of the tunnel were all blank, signifying nothing; all around were strangers. Nothing to see but her own thoughts...

There you go again, running away as usual. Aren’t you tired yet? Well, it’s your right, I guess. Better than facing the consequences of your actions!

This again. Haejung shook her head. She knew it was really her own self-loathing. She understood this was her anxiety speaking, nothing more than her fears and worries. Understanding never stopped that voice in her head, though. And it was a voice all too familiar to her.

It felt nice, though, didn’t it? To be praised again, to have people look proud of you. Yeah, if only they knew how badly you could’ve messed it all up, I bet they would look at you differently, eh?

Haejung made a step down on the escalator. Please, not today at least... Everything turned out fine in the end, didn’t it?

And yet you’ll never forget how close you actually were to a total disaster! That girl must’ve realized it too, didn’t she? That you pulled the cat too and launched it so far up? Is that why she was side-eyeing you like this? Or maybe it’s just that you’re so ugly?

Haejung sniffed, beginning to walk down to ease her anxiety.

Oh, don’t you worry, you’re so cute that I’m sure they would’ve forgiven you even if you ripped that cat in half! Always jumping in at the worst moment, always barely managing by the skin of your teeth... Be honest with me, though, do you think it will last?

Haejung stopped. The billboards around her were lighting up, shining pure white.

Yeah, I’m seriously asking. How long do you think you will continue to get so lucky? Everyone makes mistakes all the time — how long the will Universe be forgiving yours? Don’t get too complacent, beautiful...

Haejung’s knees shook as the billboards all flashed blue.

I’m always down to pay you another visit.

Haejung set off in a run down the escalator, forgetting everything but the desire to purge the painful thought from her mind. Please, just stop, enough of these memories... Thoughts were flooding her mind, faces of the people she had seen at the station sneering at her. It’s okay, he’s dead, he’s not coming back... The escalator was too long, which made her stop and look where she was going – and experience a different kind of horror. It ended very soon — the station was shrouded in thick fog. Haejung knew this fog and how dangerous this was... but even though she was suddenly alone on the escalator, the other end was impossibly far away at this point. She had no choice but to step off the escalator, her ankles instantly freezing in the mist. She called for it herself, and this time it decided to come. The booth had a person on duty staring at her — but they had no face and no hands. Holding her breath, Haejung hurried into the fog. She had no other choice but to enter the Haze.

It was all around her now — the damp, cold grey mist, stretching as far as the eye could see, covering everything starting about five meters away. Haejung’s feet were treading on barren, solid ground with pitiful patches of grass sticking out occasionally. It was silent — so the faint rustling and dripping in the distance was even scarier. Haejung’s glasses instantly got foggy, forcing her to take them off, feeling even more defenseless like this. She pulled out her smartphone and took a case adorned with exposed circuit boards and scary looking sensors out of her bag, launching a monitoring program. Not that it would help her much...

Haejung couldn’t say she knew the Haze well, and she was scared to even think how well the Haze knew her. It caught humanity’s attention half a year ago — seemingly not another layer of her world, but a separate, parasitic universe lurking around the seams of spacetime and sometimes poking its head within. The Haze was an infinite sprawl of barren land, full of long lost things and wandering souls. As Haejung was walking, she passed a bent bicycle frame, an empty dresser, a broom sticking out of the ground, something she didn’t even recognize... all from wildly different lands and epochs. Why the Haze was taking them or why this place even existed was a complete mystery. Haejung dedicated herself to uncovering it... well, a few months ago she still was. Now she felt like giving up. No announcements a simple grad student could make would stir enough interest in this phenomenon for some reason, even her thesis advisor didn’t seem to care at all. The Haze eluded all her attempts to study or classify it, and in front of this impossible task Haejung was standing alone. And yet she had to... Passing a broken bookshelf with one paperback still on it, Haejung picked it up out of habit, already knowing what she would find inside. Like every book, canvas and clay tablet before it, it was blank. At this point she was doubting who was studying who. Frustrated, she threw the book back onto the moldy shelf, and it collapsed, making a surprisingly loud cracking noise, like an entire tree was falling down.

Haejung froze in place. That was very bad. The Haze was actually an extremely dangerous place, full of scary, twisted entities forever roaming its endless plains, and every one of them was ready to lash out at intruders in a fit of overflowing grief. Walking as quietly as she could, Haejung hurried to leave the scene: her only hope was finding a place where the Haze grew thin and escaping back to her own world.

A silhouette appeared in front of her. Haejung froze in place, her hands getting cold. Surely it was just a statue?.. But then the statue made a step forward, and she could make out it was holding a halberd. Haejung got ready to run — but stopped, realizing who it must be.

“Hello, are you lost? Can I help you?”

“Eugie?..”

Considering the absurdity of the Haze coming to grab her for some reason, it actually somehow made sense it would make her bump into them. Out of the fog stepped a tall young person her age, smiling but holding a halberd at the ready. Their long messy hair, recently dyed a dark color, now looked white as it had faded, and they looked somewhat withered themselves, thin and brittle. They were wearing a light shirt and jeans, with a winter jacket draped hastily over their shoulders. Haejung put on her glasses, confirming her suspicion that their shoes were just slippers. Looking at her with disbelief, her comrade waved their hand reluctantly.

“I sensed someone get pulled in,” they said in English, a language Haejung spoke well. “But it was... you?”

“The Haze appeared in an unusual place,” Haejung adjusted her glasses. “I had to investigate.”

“Well, that was definitely very brave of you!” Eugie let out a laugh Haejung knew they didn’t mean. “Good thing I sensed it and managed to find you so quickly, isn’t it?”

“Yes, we both got very lucky.” She forced a smile, feeling a cold creep over her back at the mention of luck. Seeing Eugie raise their eyebrow, she noticed she was still holding onto the petunias that mother gave her at the bus stop. “I’ll explain later!”

“Yeah, let’s get out first.” Eugie nodded and turned away, seeing Haejung get red yet again. They smelled the air, turned around a few times and finally pointed with their halberd in one directon. “There, come on.”

Haejung trailed behind Eugie as they walked. She could try to explain that the Haze caught her unaware, but what good of an excuse that was? Eugie was, so to speak, an old friend of her, and since they lived in Moscow they were helping her with expeditions into the Haze. Despite their apparent frailty, Eugie was experienced in battle magic, which meant that they had just enough expertise to keep both Haejung and themselves alive against most of this place’s horrifying hellspawn. Alone she wouldn’t last a minute... but Eugie was no help to her in actually trying to understand the Haze: they studied history. Haejung needed all the help she was getting, though, so she was grateful. And it wasn’t like Eugie wasn’t getting anything out of this either: they weren’t just able to sense the Haze and enter it at will thanks to a random blessing.

“Oh, what a spot for an exit...”, Eugie mumbled, and Haejung tensed, wondering exactly what they meant. The halberd in her ally’s hand changed shape, becoming a flag that Eugie waved, spreading the fog in front of them. Haejung raised her eyebrow at what she saw behind the thinning veil. The Haze was definitely messing with her today.

The clouds were receding, showing stone walls. In front of them was the foyer of the Moscow State University of Metaphysics. Haejung gasped at the Haze’s audacity, expecting sirens to blare at the intrusion... but nothing came, and the sunlight streaming in through glass walls gave the entire place a sleepy look. The foyer was huge, too big for a building in the center of an ancient city, in the middle even stood a fountain. A marble orb with three rings of water swirling around it like an atom, floating in mid-air. The flag in Eugie’s hands rippled like a liquid and curled up, turning into a small piece of plasticine.

“No alarms?” Eugie also frowned, scanning the empty foyer, waiting for somebody to jump out at them and demand explanations for how they had gotten here. “I know the Haze has been getting more active, but this is just audacious. Well, you’re safe now. I can see you off at the door to the auditorium if you want.”

Haejung glanced at her watch and yelped.

“Oh no, are you late?” Eugie scratched their head, guilty that they hadn’t gotten her out sooner.

“Actually I just remembered that the first period has been cancelled,” Haejung adjusted her glasses. “Thank you.”

“Huh, is that so?” Eugie nodded. “Well, since I’m here early, want to take measurements now?”

Not waiting for an answer, they headed for the wide stairs. Haejung, taken by surprise, shook her head and hurried after them.

“You’ll need to have slept before the measurement, though”, she noted, looking at how unsteady Eugie was walking up the stairs.

“I slept today!”, they protested loudly. “More than I usually do these days, in fact.”

“How much would that be, six hours?”, Haejung smiled and frowned simultaneously. “You’re fighting so much that you have to rest well too. I don’t suppose you’ve already recovered from that injury in January, have you?”

“I have to study too, you know!”, Eugie turned for a moment, on their face also a smile that was not fun or genuine at all. “I have a thesis to write, my entire future hinges on it! And you know that emotional wounds run much deeper than physical.”

Haejung opened her mouth, but swiftly reconsidered. Telling Eugie to take it easy was hypocritical: it was her that was putting them under such strain. If anything, she should be kissing their feet and helping them with their studies as much as she could. Too bad they were a historian...

This university was no Roccaluce Academy, but they did provide Haejung with all the equipment she dared to ask for. Most of it was tucked away in a small room that looked like a medical office, because the dominating presence was an encephalograph. Classroom desks were littered with breadboards plugged into scary devices, on the hook on the wall were Haejung and Eugie’s jackets, the petunias went into a jar — and Eugie was sitting in the chair in a funny helmet, ready for a scan. The reason why they were able to enter the Haze at will wasn’t pretty: it didn’t only invade the spacetime of Haejung’s universe. The Haze was not just the void where lost things and forgotten dreams went, in many ways it was similar a mindscape, and it had the ability to invade the minds of sentient creatures, slowing and extinguishing their thoughts — and there was no cure from this condition that was only just discovered and barely studied.

“Okay, now open your eyes and stop breathing”, Haejung nodded after finishing the usual EEG test. Eugie snickered at the mistake in her phrasing, but she paid them no mind. “Now for your favourite part.”

“Boy, do I have a dream for you today!” Eugie licked their lips. “So there I am, taking an exam, and my pen isn’t working...”

Haejung pulled up another window at her computer. Her encephalograph didn’t just monitor brain activity: a few clever modifications allowed her a glimpse into the patient’s consciousness. This didn’t give her the ability to read thoughts, but for Haejung’s research this wasn’t needed. As Eugie rambled on about the crazy architecture of the crypt where they were trapped in, Haejung was monitoring the density of their thoughts, appearing as coloured blobs on a plane. It was a sad sight: while neurotypical people’s mindscapes appeared as kaleidoscopes of quickly flashing colours, Eugie’s mind was infected by the Haze. What Haejung saw was just a white plane with tiny, miserable droplets of color forming spontaneously and traveling chaotically, desperate to find some other thought to keep themselves alive before going off like sparks. How Eugie was able to keep up the appearance of a sane and even smart person in a state like this, Haejung had no idea. And they didn’t even have the worst case of the Haze of the people she knew...

“...and then the frog was like, ‘good answer, but you see, I don’t actually need you, so — sad to announce, but you don’t pass’. And all the crows began cawing and flying all around, it was a total imbroglio!” Eugie reached the point where they alone were gesticulating like a troupe of mimes. “Hey, everything okay?”

“Ah? Yes, yes, things are great,” Haejung nodded, snapping out of her pity and loathing. “Wait, the frog?!”

“The frog,” Eugie looked at her annoyedly. “The same frog that I met at the construction site, who took the minibus to Enceladus.”

“Ah, yes, that frog,” Haejung continued nodding, putting on the look of understanding she had perfected over the years. “And then what?”

“And then I sensed the Haze and woke up. So, how are my results?”

“Stunning as always,” Haejung smiled politely. “But like I said: I can’t really comment on a dataset this small. We need at least three more months of measurements.”

“But is there any positive change?” Eugie nudged their head.

“Well, I am noticing a trend towards improvement.”

Eugie let out a relieved sigh, relaxing in the chair, then suddenly tensed again.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something... regarding dreams...” Now it was them avoiding her gaze. Haejung felt something at the back of her throat.

“I've been omitting a few details,” Eugie looked at their knees, clenched together. “It's been a while, but I've been hearing a voice again... there, in the back of my thoughts,” Eugie made a vague gesture, but Haejung immediately understood.

“What are you trying to imply?” she said cautiously.

“That voice... I don't know, honestly,” Eugie lowered their shoulders. “It's my final year at university, and these things with my personal life, and the aftermath of those fights, and everything that’s to come... you know, thesis...” They finally looked right at Haejung. “I’m just afraid that I’m not going to make it.”

A heavy silence filled the room, and Haejung felt more suffocated with each second she was picking her words.

“You will, though. You’re strong, and I don’t see how you could possibly fail.”

“You know what I’m talking about!” Eugie looked down again. “It’s his voice. And it’s getting louder...” They sighed and sank into the chair. Haejung couldn’t look away from how a transparent dove blue blob was covering the entire screen.

“It’s just your imagination,” she replied, her voice hollow and robotic. “You will excel at everything, I’m sure! The days of failure are past us both.”

“I know!” Eugie replied, annoyed, their voice cracking. “I’m just... scared. You know what voice I’m talking about? The demon’s.”

Haejung was so acutely aware of her heartbeat, she wondered if Eugie heard it too.

“Yes, you did kill him, but you remember him saying he would come back... What is he’s about to? What if we’re not safe?”

Yes, Eugie. I’ve been having the same worries, I’ve been hearing the same voice. I’m feeling it too. We should do something about it. Say it, it’s so simple, come on…

“Your fears are completely irrational,” Haejung echoed, her voice dry. “We both know for a fact that he is gone, and he is not coming back. Wasn’t it me who made sure of that?”

“You’re right,” Eugie smiled and took off their silly helmet. “You did a great job.”

Their goodbye was quick and full of kind words, but none of them meant a thing. As soon as the door closed behind Eugie, Haejung felt entombed by the walls and barely escaped to the corridor. There was too much time until the next period... Thankfully, there was another place in this university where she could go to feel useful. So Haejung began walking through long corridors, walls and ceiling lined with stabilizing equipment. It was necessary for an institution occupying a space pocket that had a dozen or so reality-bending accidents every day. Sometimes these things even worked as intended. Not today, though...

A bit pathetic how you couldn’t confide in them. You trust them to have your back in the Haze, but as soon as it’s about your feelings, you lock up. Where’s the logic in that?

This again. Haejung furiously sniffled and began stomping on the floor while walking, desperate to drown out the voice that wasn’t reaching her ears.

Well, you aren’t telling them how their Haze affliction is getting worse either. You can see it every day, and even this you conceal. What are you even doing with all of this? You can’t do a thing to help, can’t admit you’re wrong, all while the people you’re responsible for are suffering! Isn’t it better to give up? When things go haywire, fewer people will blame you at least.

Shut up... Haejung entered the giant courtyard and only then noticed she had forgotten her jacket in her room. Clenching her teeth, she continued walking anyway. No, she couldn’t give up, and it was because she had responsibility, something this voice in her head had never known. The hospital building was right in front of her — sadly, in this university there was a need for that too. When Jaromir, a red-haired seven year old boy, was brought here in January, it was Haejung that had correctly identified his condition as the Haze. Not that she could do anything for him, it was the military grade reality-stabilizing equipment that was keeping him from phasing through the floor and sometimes allowing him to understand what was happening around him — but people seemed calmer to have an “expert” around. It looked like Jaromir had already memorized Haejung’s face and name, and understood that he was safe now and help was coming soon (which were both lies).

In the foyer of the hospital Haejung saw two familiar faces: these boys were from the same room as Jaromir.

“Haejung, hi!” One of them waved at her with his eyebrow.

“Hello,” she nodded politely. “How is Jaromir today?”

“He ist unwell,” replied the other boy with a thousand voices, each a thousand millenia old. “He hath decided to rest today.”

Haejung frowned. The first boy shrugged his toenails.

“It's just the usual. Go on, hurry, you always cheer him up!”

That much was true. Haejung hurried up the stairs.

Not feeling well... and how exactly did they understand this? When Jaromir was unwell, would just lay on his bed and stare into the distance — exactly the same as usual. Haejung couldn’t shake off the chilly anticipation, but she forced herself to imagine the boy smiling, trying to rekindle her motivation to help him. She was mostly throwing stuff at the wall, trying methods ranging from mannequin behavioral therapy to five-dimensional Feng Shu. Jaromir had it the worst among the five people Haejung was observing, and if she managed to find a way to help him, she would surely save them all... That would certainly be a reason to be proud of herself.

You? Satisfied? Are you freaking kidding me, girl? You can’t even write a report, no way in hell you’ll do anything good for any of them. Just you see...

Shut up... Haejung didn’t bother to scale the last flight of stairs, teleporting upwards instead. Things are okay, you see? Everything is as it should be in the corridor, there’s Jaromir’s room...

The door handle was ice cold to the touch. A drawing of a frog was sneering at her from the wall, taunting her from its lily pad. Haejung's head went spinning. She slammed the door open...

The room was quiet, and yet everything was wrong. The curtain on the window was wide open, but Haejung saw nothing outside but white, the light concealed by fine mist. Toys were scattered on the floor, but one bed, Jaromir’s bed, was neatly done as if nobody had ever laid on it. The heavy, imposing futuristic machines all around it stood silent, not one of them turned on. Even though the corridor was full of sounds, the room was coated in silence. Haejung couldn’t even feel her own breath. She was late.

Haejung touched the clean sheets, ready to break down. They were... still warm?! Her head sprang up, and she immediately saw a grey wooden door that had not been there before. There was no time to think: she knew if she stopped even for a second, she would lose all will to try to save Jaromir. So she immediately slammed the door open and walked in.

She was in a long corridor, with windows on one side also showing only mist and the other side stacked with boxes. As soon as Haejung made the first step, the door shut behind her, missing the handle from this side. Well, now the only way was forward, whether she wanted it or not. Twisting her hand in a specific way, Haejung reached into a space pocket and pulled out a bronze sword hilt: on the end where the blade should have been was a tightly closed flower bud. Making careful steps, she began hurriedly walking through the corridor, squinting at every box. The fog was inexplicably thickening with each step, and soon she couldn’t see two meters in front of her. Gripping the sword handle so strongly her knuckles got white, Haejung continued walking as the walls were getting further apart around her, soon disappearing from view altogether.

Welcome to the circus, dear guests; tonight’s entertainment — a fool who decided to enter the Haze for the second time this day and die! The bets are coming in on how long she will hold out, who’s gonna win? I’m telling you now, not her!

A door appeared before Haejung so suddenly, she almost stumbled into it. Opening it, Haejung was greeted with a familiar sign. She was standing on a deteriorating balcony, and in front of her was nothing but the infinite stretch of grey fog. Suddenly the wall behind her lit up green, and another door formed on it. Eugie knocked it open with their foot, eyes wide.

“You again?! What were you even thinking, do you want to die?”

“Jaromir”, Haejung mouthed. Eugie squinted at her, so she was forced to repeat the name.

“That boy?!” Eugie gasped, but instantly composed themselves, ran their fingers through their hair and jumped onto the rusty railing.

“It’s fine. Let’s get him out, he couldn’t have gone far enough.”

“We really can?!” Haejung looked at Eugie.

“Who’s the specialist here?” They looked at her with an eerie smile on their face. “Come on, let’s discover that we can before it’s too late.”

Grunting, they ripped out a piece of the railing, which glowed and changed shape into another halberd. Beckoning Haejung with their arm, Eugie jumped down into the fog. Sighing heavily, she took off her glasses and began climbing onto the rusty railing — but then the entire balcony finally crumbled, taking her down too. The flower bud on the end of Haejung’s hilt opened, and the hard light streaming out formed a protective cape around her shoulders which slowed her fall. The ground came unexpectedly, but Haejung’s magic made them land without breaking anything. The cape faded, becoming barely visible, and out of the bronze flower streamed a short beam of light, making the wide edge of a sword.

Eugie was looking around frantically, trying to gauge where to go. All around them were just gravestones with no writing. They picked a side finally, operating certainly just on blind intuition, and set off without turning to look at Haejung. She rushed after them — and then after just a minute Eugie signaled her with their halberd to stop.

“Shh,” they hissed with a finger to their mouth and motioned forward. “An entire flock, let’s get around them to the left.”

Just in front of them Haejung saw vague silhouettes of something that looked vaguely like it could be alive. Horrible, twisted creatures, surely looking like a tortured painter’s fever dreams — and Haejung had no desire to confirm that, especially considering that even one of those entities could easily rip her to shreds. Eugie dubbed them “Hazards”, a name too playful for how serious the threat was. Eyes to the ground, she followed Eugie’s quick but silent steps. She knew that alone they could just rush through the flock — but she wasn’t anywhere near that agile or observant of incoming attacks. Eugie wasn’t alone, and thus they were losing priceless time.

Wow, even now you are a hindrance, and that’s in the domain that should be your expertise! What were you even doing these past months, please tell me? Certainly nothing actually useful!

“Something’s wrong...” Eugie slowed down slightly.

“Oh, shut up,” Haejung muttered to herself at the same time.

“Pardon?” Eugie glanced at her.

“Sorry, I wasn’t talking to you!” Haejung yelped, her face flashing red. Eugie stopped, and she slowly realized what she had done, putting both hands to her mouth as if that would change anything. Behind her she heard the alarmed cries of the horde of malformed creations.

“Run!” Eugie screamed, irate, and Haejung set off. Eugie threw their halberd, which unfolded mid-air and turned into a chain link fence as it landed. Haejung swung her light sword without looking, sending a shockwave that would hopefully hit at least one Hazard.

“I’m sorry!”, she shouted with a pleading voice that was close to crying. Eugie was silent, in their hands a bunch of Christmas tree ornaments that were actually grenades.

Yeah, how does that feel? Always messing up, never enough... How long until you understand? How hard could it be to just accept that this is you?

Please, not now, not when she’s about to die... Wind was hissing in Haejung’s ears, and somehow she could feel the fog around her get narrower, like a corridor... When that feeling turned into a thought, it was too late. Something was moving on both of their sides, like multiple endless conveyor belts suspended in the fog.

“What’s gotten into you, where are you running?!” Eugie caught up to her, panting, another halberd in their hands, blade coated in viscous black liquid. “That thing around us, it’s blocked off our exit! We’re right in its trap!”

Haejung mumbled something, not daring to lift her gaze off the ground, so Eugie just waved her off and walked a few steps forward. It was all around them now, an endless long thing coiling in both directions with no visible beginning or end. Haejung put her glasses to her face and saw that it was not actually a conveyor belt: thousands of thin legs were moving the long flat body, crawling on air like it was solid. This was no ordinary Hazard: by Eugie’s classification this thing was called an Obstacle. Eugie made a beckoning motion with their hand — out of the ground around them, like plants, a bunch of spears showed their tips, ready to spring out.

“Behind you!”

Haejung was lucky to notice the attack, looking in the right direction. Out of the fog the centipede was swiftly crawling right at them, its head without a mouth or even eyes, but adorned with two sharp horns. Eugie ducked and magically bent their halberd, only to straighten it a second later and impale the centipede. Haejung swung her sword and cut the centipede in half. This deterred it, but only for a moment: just a second after both uneven halves got up, shook like dogs and crawled back into the fog. It wasn’t this easy to kill something that wasn’t even alive.

“Good,” Eugie nodded at Haejung. “Stay alert!” Haejung glanced at them, and in that exact moment another centipede’s head appeared out of the fog and forcefully hit her, launching her into Eugie and sending them both onto the ground. Haejung’s cape, becoming visible at impact, was all that saved her from a broken arm. Jumping up in panic, Haejung swung her blade and missed, seeing yet another head lurching at her. The centipede also missed, Haejung cut it in half again — and saw three huge heads launching at her at once out of the fog. She took a blunt hit and jumped behind the huge shield Eugie had created. Five of the centipede’s heads were slamming into the shield from above. Eugie’s plasticine could become hard as steel, but this monster could pierce steel like it was clay.

“Alright, this isn’t so bad”, her comrade smiled, as if through pain. “We just need to target them all at once, and then we can break through!”

Seven centipede heads burst from the ground under them, sending them both high in the air. For a moment Haejung didn’t understand which way was up, floating in fog with an endless living conveyor coiling around her. The she landed on the centipede’s rock sharp back.

“AGH! Eugie, where are you?” Haejung screamed, thrusting her sword inside the monster and struggling to get up, leaning on it.

“Protect yourself!”

They were in the center of the living whirlwind, holding two horned heads with their bloody hands. Another head launched at them, but Eugie sent it flying off with a kick and screamed in pain.

“Don’t you dare take Jaromir — or anybody!”, they screamed hysterically into the vastness of the Haze. “I’ve had enough of people leaving! This boy needs us, and you’re nothing in the face of my wrath! Le Petit Cassurecœur!”

Letting go of the centipede, Eugie slammed both their palms into the ground. The earth trembled, and Haejung, gathering the last drops of her strength, jumped as high as she could, away from certain doom. A terrible flash of darkness erupted from the ground, spreading the fog a little — then a forest of sharp black crystals burst from the earth high above, each thick, pointy column hitting the centipede precisely, piercing its impossibly long body. Haejung was floating on her cape, descending slowly as the monster wiggled helplessly one last time and hung limply on the crystal pillars.

The centipede popped, exploding into licorice and black pepper seeds. As soon as she landed, Haejung hurried to the central crystal. She cut an opening with her lightsword, and Eugie fell out, sweaty and pale.

“Come on, we’re losing time”, they said in a dead voice, grabbed Haejung’s arm and made a few steps, but stopped almost right away. Haejung squinted, noticing something like a bandage forming around their leg, the same color as their pants — certainly so that she wouldn’t notice.

“Hey, are you hurt?” she asked carefully.

“No! Doesn’t matter,” Eugie looked around and pointed in the direction they both knew they picked randomly. “Come on! The Haze is getting thin, we have to move if we want to stay inside.”

They began running again, limping noticeably but not stopping again. Scratching her bruised back, Haejung followed. Eugie was evidently in a lot of pain, but somehow they still weren’t giving up...

But had it been just you, surely you would’ve stopped? Even if it meant abandoning the boy?

Haejung didn’t even have the strength to protest her inner monologue. They were running among misshapen stones that soon began to resemble the remains of a bombed down city. The walls were getting taller and moving closer, but Eugie was still running stubbornly, and Haejung didn’t have the bravery to say anything. The veil of the fog was getting thinner with every step — but only when a car passed them by did they finally snap out.

The clouds above them parted to reveal a ray of cold winter sun. They were in a Moscow side-street, grey and full of piles of half-melted dirty snow. The last remnants of Haze dissipated in an instant.

“No...” Haejung leaned against a wall in shock. “Come on, we have to get back in!”

“On it”, Eugie answered in a robotic voice, limped to the wall and began drawing a sigil with their finger, leaving a trace of green light. Two seconds in, their hand dropped.

“I can’t...”

Haejung didn’t know how she still managed to catch the collapsing Eugie in this condition. Their hand fell into the puddle, the jacket instantly soaking.

Haejung’s memories of the following hour or so were (what irony) hazy. An ambulance came for Eugie, a horse drawn carriage, and after taking a couple impossible turns they ended up in an old hospital. The doctors took her friend in, prescribing them long rest... they hadn’t really woken up anyway. Now she was sitting on a bench under the hill where the hospital stood: a low rise brick mansion covered in vines, in the middle of a forest too eerily beautiful to be part of Haejung’s world. The sky was bright blue, not a cloud in sight — but the spring wind was making Haejung, who had left her jacket in her lab, shiver from the cold. The old trees were creaking, and something was rustling in the bushes, whispering indistinctly. Thoughts were racing in Haejung’s mind, all of them horrifying — but the one dominating them all was that now she sure would miss the rest of her classes too.

The sound of footsteps made Haejung flinch; when she saw who was approaching, her fear increased tenfold. No matter how many times she saw Spoon Loon, horror was the instinctual response. She was a spindly and pale creature, with a giant long bald head that continued into two noodle legs, forgoing the torso, the neck or even the chin. Her eyes were uneven in shape, two deep, black voids, pulling the observer into primal nonexistence. Her mouth was stuck in a perpetual sardonic grin, no matter what she said or did. Such things as a nose or hair served no need to Spoon Loon — but for now she kept one noodle arm out, to hold the cane she was propping herself on. Haejung would not believe it had she not seen it herself, but Spoon Loon could be hurt. She was still limping, though the cast on her leg was already off.

“Well, if it isn’t my young scientist!”, Spoon Loon explained in perfect Korean, her grating voice that was suited for a much denser atmosphere spreading around like tidal waves. “Nice to see you in good shape!”

Haejung jumped onto her feet and nodded. Spoon Loon was the self-proclaimed best antiquarian in the world, a permanent resident of the Haze — and formerly one of her and Eugie’s enemies. But why did she come find her right now? A faint, painful hope was tugging at the back of her throat.

“So, how has your day been?”, Spoon Loon asked almost playfully, scanning Haejung with her gaze. “You’re shivering! Forgot this?”

She extended her other arm from behind her back, holding Haejung’s jacket.

“Thank you!” She hiccupped. “I’m...” She glanced at Spoon Loon as she was putting on the jacket and saw that her question was not a formality. “Well, our expedition into the Haze was not very successful, as you might have seen.”

“I have seen that”, Spoon Loon nodded, scoffing at her. “Want to accompany a lady on a walk?”

“It would be an honor”, blurted Haejung and stretched out her elbow. Spoon Loon’s cartoony arm coiled around hers several times, and after a minute of walking they came across a wide lake. It was covered in a thin layer of ice, which was partially covered in a thin layer of water.

“Poor Eugie — going toe to toe against me, but brought down by a conveyor...” Spoon Loon shook her head. “What about the boy?”

Haejung winced, and a noticeable shiver went across her entire body.

“What about him? He’s... still there.” She glanced at her smiling companion. “Now that Eugie is hurt because of me, I can’t even enter the Haze.”

She stopped, losing the will to walk. Humming somewhat accusingly, Spoon Loon extended both arms, grabbed her and sat her atop another bench in front of the lake, set down a handkerchief for herself and sat down too.

“Sounds horrifying indeed... And why are you so sure nothing can be done?”

Haejung glanced at Spoon Loon, who was demonstratively staring at birds in the sky. Was that invitation to ask her for a favor? Or could she be asking about...?

“It’s him that’s bothering you, right?”, the monstrous antiquarian sighed. “Your demon.”

“The Failure Demon, yes...” Haejung’s shoulders sank, but it was not additional sadness, but relief.

“What a terrible burden...”, Spoon Loon mouthed. “I’m afraid you’ll have to learn to live with it. Can’t stand those types who don’t know when to quit... But I’m proud that you’re standing up to him.”

“Is he still real?..”, Haejung half-whispered. Spoon Loon broke out in handsaw-like laughter. A flock of ducks landed on the ice, quacking in dissatisfaction.

“Is the concept of failure real! Of course he is, my little philosopher, and you always have to be on your toes!”

“Well, I wasn’t today...” Haejung sagged even more, leaning back onto the bench.

“Hey, you did your best”, Spoon Loon patted her on the shoulder. “Speaking of that — what do you think of your companion’s actions?”

“They were brave...”, Haejung responded, choosing words as carefully as she could. “They always are.”

“They were rash”, Spoon Loon retorted. “You two may have had your hearts in the right place, but you had no plan.”

“How could we!” Haejung flared up. “I don’t know anything, and even you refuse to share information!”

Spoon Loon cackled, patting her on the back.

“You won’t understand what I have to say. The answers will come to you in their own time, believe me!”

“I don’t have time right now...” Haejung closed her eyes. Then she felt something cold on her knees. Spoon Loon gave her a brass teaspoon with a sun ornament on the tip.

“From my personal collection”, she winked. Haejung was staring at her, icy outrage flaming in her eyes. “Hold onto it!”, Spoon Loon laughed. “It will be useful pretty soon.”

She grunted and got up, leaning on her cane.

“What do I do with it?” Haejung picked up the spoon. “Please just tell me...”

“Eugie”, Spoon Loon glanced back at the hill, “got into the hospital because they were too brash. They didn’t know where they were going and got hurt. And you, my dear... have to do the same thing.”

Haejung blinked in silence.

“You’ll see an opportunity when it comes”, Spoon Loon patted her on the head. “Just be brave, okay? Do your best. You have my permission!”

“Will I be able to do my best?..” Haejung gripped the spoon.

“The Demon?” Spoon Loon shook her head slowly. “He will only be as much of a problem as you let him. Don’t listen to him, and you’ll probably be okay. Believe in yourself! I sure do.”

Haejung tried to formulate another question — but her malformed informant already set off on her path again, humming blissfully. For another ten minutes or so she was just sitting on the bench, looking at the spoon, hearing the ice quietly crack in the warming air. When she got up, she noticed a giant paper note on the bench. It was freshly painted.

Only as much of a problem as you let him? The answer will come to you on its own? What kind of advice was that? What was she expecting anyway from Spoon Loon of all people???

Haejung was sitting in the empty metro car, her ears once again plugged with earphones that weren’t playing any music. The lights were dim, just like her future. What are Jaromir’s parents doing? What will happen to her research? Is Jaromir even still alive — and will he now wander the endless wastes forever, gradually losing all memories of the human image?

“We have to try. I have to try.”

She raised her head. Eugie was sitting in front of her: with a strained smile they got up, floating above the floor. The train stopped, opening its doors into the darkness, and Eugie disappeared out there, hunched over even though they were floating. Haejung half-raised her hand, but what she could say to them? The train went going again, the lights from the windows illuminating a whole crowd of Spoon Loons, grinning devilishly at the only passenger.

Why does it matter how much you try? There’s not a chance in hell for you to fix this, my beauty.

The train blasted out of the tunnel, showing Haejung a view of Roccaluce Academy, where she would never ever study. All the buildings of the giant castle were stacked on top of each other, some turned upside down. The doors opened, and Haejung rushed through the crowd of faceless students, scaling the giant stairs spiraling around the mound of buildings to the top.

Where are you hurrying, silly? You’re hopelessly late. All the lessons are over already!

Haejung reached a rooftop garden — the same one that was at her school so many years back. She herself was standing at the center, illuminated by the full moon, ten years old — and before that Haejung, there was a fuzzy, lanky blue frog on a pedestal. He glanced at the older Haejung with heart-shaped glowing eyes and grinned with two rows of human teeth. She winced, but she could not look away. How stupid she was back then... Just kiss the frog, and you can be smart and capable, adored and respected like a princess... The price she has paid for those four years of blessings was too high. Clouds condensed around the scene, covering the small Haejung and the demon.

Remember your golden days well! It’s only downhill from there, you know... and it will get much worse.

The clouds kept swirling around her, washing away all visions and thoughts. For the rest of the night Haejung was wandering the Haze, crying out and seeing nobody and nothing. She woke up in a cold sweat, powerless, and just lay down staring at the ceiling.

Coming to university tomorrow, Haejung expected hellfire. She was wondering if the sky itself would crash and bury her unsightly visage under its weight... but she was not ready for everybody just shooting her sympathetic looks and mumbling a couple words of consolation before proceeding to ignore her. She was just a little more of a leper than she was used to, and somehow that felt worse than if she was demonstratively expelled in front of the entire student body. Even her own advisor just gave her a couple nonsense advices, not once looking her in the eye.

After classes she had two other patients, a woman who didn’t see walls and walked right through them and a man whose senses were separate from his body, each wandering a different part of the planet. An hour after the man had left, Haejung was still sitting in her cabinet, stirring cold tea that had no sugar in it with Spoon Loon’s spoon. The bouquet in the jar has wilted somewhat, and she knew she had to change the water — but even picking up her phone to call the hospital and ask them about Eugie’s condition was an insurmountable task. Then the phone set off on its own.

“Psssht... Is this Haejung?”, she heard someone ask through obscene amounts of static. “Are you Eugie’s friend?”

“I am”, she said, gripping the phone with a rapidly sweating palm.

“Eugie’s not here”, she managed to hear. “Psssh... They left in the night, left a note... “Going to the Haze”... sssht... Do you know where that is? They can’t walk, they need to rest... psssht...”

The connection gave out — or maybe it was Haejung herself pressing the button. Just like that, her last hope is now getting injured on their own, and she is in danger to lose them for good. Haejung relaxed her hand and dropped her phone onto the floor on purpose. What could she possibly do?

A siren went out, for the third time today. “Spatial anomaly detected in the Щ building, code 0919. Evacuate the Щ building. Task force №5, emergency dispatch to the Щ building.” Haejung was not even listening... so her legs standing up on their own was a surprise to her. Then she realized it. 0919 was the Haze’s code.

How could it be so simple? That the Haze would not only come to her on her own, but reveal itself? Haejung shoved the wet spoon in her pocket and set off in a run, not even bothering to close the door. Please still be there... oh no, the task force could get there before her... It took Haejung five minutes to get to the Щ building, a two-story archive, and she did not see a worried crowd near the entrance. Taking a deep breath, she phased right through the wall. Her phone in her hand, dressed in her detector case, was guiding her through the corridors, with people occasionally yelping at the girl appearing out of nowhere or shouting that she was breaking the rules — and led her to the door to a small, windowless break room. Holding her unsteady breath, Haejung yanked the handle.

Two women stared at her, their chat interrupted. The room was tiny and full of cupboards, in the corner an electric teapot was winding up. One of them glared at it, and the electric hazard turned into a pile of cereal boxes.

“Hwang, Task force №5”, Haejung said in Russian, trying to sound professional but only managing to elicit pity. “The Haze is here, please evacuate.”

“Ma’am, the Haze was here ten minutes ago”, one woman responded, squinting at her. “And it had dissipated before the task force even got here. May I see your ID?..”

“I’m getting another signal”, Haejung barked through gritted teeth, jiggling her frankenphone without even showing the women the screen. “Please let me inspect...”

They all went silent as they heard something rustle in one of the upper cupboards. Haejung jumped up to it and slammed the door open. A hedgehog-like creature squeaked and scurried away, disappearing in the shadow. Seeing nothing unusual, Haejung glanced at her phone. The detector was not picking up any signal anymore. Getting ready to explain her intrusion to the building, Haejung closed the door...

And opened it again. A sugar pot looked strangely familiar. The sun on it... Haejung pulled out her spoon. It had the same symbol! She grabbed the pot. There was just sugar inside, old and all stuck together. She shoved the spoon in, breaking the hard surface. With a loud, ghostly creak another cupboard opened in the bottom row.

“Ma’am...”, the other woman raised her voice slightly. “What are you doing?”

Haejung leaned down on her knees. The cupboard opened into a tunnel, so long that she couldn’t shine a light inside. Her detector was going off gain. Haejung looked up at the archivists, opening her mouth, but couldn’t figure out what to say. The Haze was waiting for her.

So that’s the plan? Just go there and perish too? Man, aren’t you clever.

With each passing second this seemed more like a terrible idea — so Haejung was not about to wait a second more. She silently crawled into the tunnel, hearing the door slam behind her.

The tunnel was cold and reeked of moisture, like a damp coffin. Haejung crawled for two minutes, and all that had changed was the wood getting wetter. The rush was subsiding, and she could no longer keep her thoughts in check.

Well, that’s it, I guess. Maybe it’s not too late to turn back? Oh, well, I guess we both know that it is. What can I even say? I’d wish you good luck, but no amount of luck in the world would save you.

The damp plywood gave out under Haejung, and she fell into the Haze, accompanied by a rain of splinters. The ground she hit was softer than usual, and also wetter.

I guess I could pray that you find peace after your untimely passing.

Grunting in anger, she got up — and gasped. In the distance she saw an extinguished street light. Running up to it, she scraped it with her fingernail, confirming that it was made of plasticine. Eugie was here! Well... at some point in time.

Oh, give up. There’s no space or time here, and you have no way to tell it was them. Where would you even go from here?

Haejung just rushed straight ahead, clearing her mind and only focusing on Eugie. Alone she would perish even if she had found Jaromir somehow, but together they had a chance. The things stuck in the ground were all rusty. Gigantic clay tablets, glass vases missing a piece — all things that shouldn’t even oxidize. Heajung tried to ignore the mossy gravestones. The pitiful grass was taller with every meter she passed, the ground getting even wetter... It was getting harder to go straight, and against her better judgment Haejung decided to swerve.

This brought her to the very heart of the swamp. Knee deep in water, scratching her arms on giant cattails, she froze in fear as she saw a giant shadow emerge from the fog. An enormous, bloated, six-legged toad with no eyes was strutting right in her direction. Seeing it trample another streetlight, Haejung gasped.

The toad opened its mouth with a pained groan and shot its long tongue straight at Haejung. She jumped, but water made her super leap into a pitiful skip. The tongue slammed her in the stomach, kicking the breath out of her and making her slide across the wet bottom of the swamp. Gasping as she went above the surface, mud in her nostrils, Haejung found a hummock and leaped at the toad from there, activating her light sword — and got a tongue in the face. Her glasses shattered, and she was sent flying to the side, slamming into the rotting planks floating high up. She fell into a puddle of mud; the toad leaped in front of her, making the ground shake and wobble, and licked its human-like lips.

Goodbye, beautiful! It wasn’t nice knowing you.

Grabbing Haejung with its tongue, the toad swallowed her. Everything went dark.

She was lying on her side, the plaid blanket prickling her skin through her clothes. The smell of the room was too familiar. Haejung opened her eyes and instantly shut them again, recognizing the wallpaper. Even her body was smaller. She was fourteen again, stuck in her childhood room. Exactly where she hoped to never return. She glanced at her hand, looking comically small, and yet wondered if she had ever truly grown.

Thought you could get out of here?

The demon’s words appeared written in light right in front of her. Haejung groaned and hunched over, grabbing her tiny knees with her hands.

No matter how you try to delude yourself, you’ve always been here. And you always will be.

She turned away from the wall. The room was exactly like she remembered it be right after the apex of her life in blessing and adoration. At the age of 14 Hwang Haejung, the unexpected Wunderkind, a master in space magic, high school level physics and astronomy and a virtuoso at piano, has convinced her parents to take an expensive trip to Italy for her to take the entrance exam to the middle school of Roccaluce Academy, the most prestigious magic school on the planet. How could she possibly fail! She was so smart, and so charming, and so cool... But over the two weeks she would spend in this room after the exam it began to feel like a tomb to her past self.

Life is a cruel game. You gambled and lost, and now it’s all over. Way past time to accept it, girl.

She remembered the darkness of the heavy curtains, the dust settling on the piano, its lid wide open, the water in the glass on the floor slowly evaporating with each passing day. She did not remember the small CRT television on the cabinet in the middle of the room, but what did it even matter. It showed ballerinas dancing in a row, the words shining over them.

You could go out there and get hurt time and time again, life teaching you the same lesson over and over. Or you could settle for less. No need to jump over your head when you can’t. Just wait for the end, it can’t be too far.

Haejung rolled onto her back, looking at the ceiling, white and empty. Better than anything in this room she remembered the exam. The demon that had blessed her appeared once again, revealing himself to be the demon of failure. All of Haejung’s talents evaporated in an instant, and she spent the following three hours staring into the exam sheet, unable to even cry. Letting all the air out of her lungs with a big sigh, she closed her eyes.

And opened them not even five minutes after. Moving her body was painful, but with an angry grunt she sat up.

“You know what? I’m bored.”

Haha, bored of what? Of losing all the time?

The TV screen flickered, like it was playing a crumpled tape.

“Bored”, Haejung said, getting to her feet, “of you.”

She glanced at the power cord, and it shot out of the wall. The TV didn’t power down, shaking, as if in fear.

What are you even saying? I’m part of you, how can you reject me?

“It’s simple, really”, she went up to the TV and flicked it with her fingers. “I’ve grown.”

She was herself again — the 23 year old Haejung, a graduate student studying the Haze, the girl who tracked down and killed the Failure Demon at the age of just sixteen. Smiling at herself in the mirror, she went up to the door.

Where are you going? What can you even do???

The words were projected onto the wall unevenly and fluttered.

“I don’t know what I can do, but I sure as hell know what I have to do”, Haejung snapped. “The Haze won’t get Jaromir. And you won’t get me. Go cry about it, loser.”

She reached for the door handle and cringed, touching the obscene amounts of chewing gum stuck to its bottom. The handle stayed back in her hand, so Haejung just kicked the door down. A terrible wind streamed out of the room, kicking down all the small things on the shelves and crashing against the brick wall in the middle of the dark corridor.

You will still return here! Again and again! This is a part of you!

“Better than sitting here all the time”, mouthed Haejung. “Now let’s see how far I can jump.”

Glaring back at the TV, she raised her hand, and it rose up, the image blinking in panic, reduced to static.

Please listen! I’m just trying to protect you!

“You say it all the time”, Haejung grinned. “But you’re just an obstacle in my way.”

She made a throwing motion, and the old TV flung itself at the brick wall, shattering it. Blinding light streamed from the outside. The wind strengthened tenfold, as if an airlock was fully opened, and picked up Haejung herself. Flying by one of the doors, she saw a familiar pale face in one of the dark rooms...

“Jaromir!!!”

The stream of air flung Haejung out into the world of light and cold air. Tumbling through the sky, she realized that she was back in her world and, it seemed, still in Moscow. The toad Obstacle was behind her, deflating with a horrifying whistle like a punctured sandcastle. In her own hand Haejung found her lightsword. Adjusting herself mid-flight, she saw a familiar square beneath. Car traffic was blocked by a truck that fell on its side, spilling hundreds of sugar cubes into the muddy snow. The drivers were all honking, some got out and were pelting the giant toad with sugar. Pedestrians were all hurrying to do their own things, avoiding both the monster and the traffic.

Haejung landed on the roof of a building covered in ceramic tiles. Looking to her side, she gasped quietly. Eugie was standing there, leaning on their halberd. Their leg was encased in a vignette-shaped structure, letting them move without straining it too much. Their eyes were sunken and their face even more tired than usual, but they still showed Haejung a thumbs up.

“So you punctured it from the inside? Clever, I wouldn’t have thought of that.”

“I wasn’t...” Haejung bit her tongue. “Jaromir is inside!”

“So my feeling was right”, Eugie nodded. The toad shot its tongue at them, and they both leaped up. Eugie threw their halberd. “A little help?”

Haejung nodded and whispered something. The halberd accelerated tenfold, piercing the tongue and pinning it to the roof. Eugie lost their balance and was about to have a bad landing, but Haejung held them up with telekinesis.

“You’re always right on time”, they smiled when she landed next to them. The toad, more deflated by the second, was roaring and stomping under them, getting ready to jump and crush them under the remainder of its weight. “Seems you’ve already dealt the finishing blow, but any idea how we could hasten the end?”

“I’ve got one, yes.” Nodding, she put her hands forward, praying she had enough magic left. “Static Space Implosion!”

Space rippled around the six-legged toad, making it shrink in addition to deflating. It roared, but the sound came out as a high-pitched whine.

“Great job!” Eugie gave Haejung a weak pat on the back. “Now let’s take that boy back.”

They jumped off the building, a rainbow aura enveloping them. A mandala-like sigil appeared under the toad, and a giant mass of liquid earth erupted from under the asphalt, encasing it in a rainbow mound that took the shape of a beautiful clock tower. The onlookers all stopped in awe. Haejung jumped down to the tower’s base; Eugie, standing at the gate, smiled and gave her a key to the gate in front of them.

“Hey,” she stopped just shy of taking the key. “I’m sorry... for being so weak, and always needing help, and never knowing what to do. I’m trying... I’m doing my best.”

“I see that,” Eugie smiled. “Don’t think I don’t notice you trying!”

“It’s never enough, though. Disaster is always right around the corner...” Haejung lowered her hand -- but then Eugie just shoved the key into her palm.

“Nothing is ever enough”, they said with sudden honesty. “But you’re not alone. You saved me just now! All we have to do is try out hardest — together. And then”, they put on a smile again, “we’ll find success eventually!”

“Sounds like a fairytale”, Haejung mumbled — and yet she was smiling too.

“Hope is unrealistic, yes”, Eugie shrugged. “And yet we all still hope.”

Haejung turned the key. The top of the tower lit up and exploded in rainbow sparks. All that was left was a fancy chair — with a pale red-haired boy sitting on it, staring into the distance behind Haejung’s shoulder. She rushed to hug him, checking his pulse and his reflexes, tears streaming down her face, but her expression calm as usual. Jaromir was showing no signs of being aware he existed — but he was alive and unharmed... which meant she had the opportunity to help him another day.

A mother was passing by, dressed in a neon pink jacket, dragging her daughter by the hood with one hand and holding a phone with another. They stopped for a minute to look at the tower. The girl looked Haejung right in the eye with a serious face and showed her a thumbs up.

With another green light, the cars started moving.

Initially written in January–April 2020; final edits done in December 2023. Published on December 25, 2023.